Those words by Jesus resonate so deeply within me every time I read them.
I once was lost, but now I'm found
I once was lost, but now I'm found
So far away, but I'm home now
I once was lost, but now I'm found
I once was lost, but now I'm found
So far away, but I'm home now
I once was lost, but now I'm found
These words are from Casting Crown's song, "And Now My Lifesong Sings." Again, simple yet profound. Basic, nothing fancy, but somehow they speak into me in a way words cannot describe. I think that's why I am so drawn to movies and books that deal with people who stray so far to the left to even the point of death but then through some act of courage from within or from someone who loves them, they are saved; they overcome some terrible circumstance and wind up being stronger than they ever thought possible. Maybe that's why I love the original Star Wars Trilogy so much. Or am drawn to Bat Man or Iron Man...someone with a tragic flaw that makes them vulnerable and too human yet is somehow able to overcome some giant hurdle even despite themselves and their propensity to do the things they know they should not or cannot avoid doing. Hard to explain.
I like the idea that God is always there. Here. Now. Sitting beside me as I type this blog. Possibly watching my fingers as I am doing now, smiling a bit with the work He has created in me. Knowing with certainty (while I haven't a clue) just where I am heading in the next few minutes, few hours, few days, few weeks....you get the picture. It's comforting knowing He is here.
I was watching my youngest son the other day as he was sitting on the couch quietly reading his homework: Take-Home Reading Book. I was just staring at him, enjoying his lips moving every so slightly as he read to himself. Watching his forehead crinkle a bit as he struggled trying to pronounce a word. Watching as his eyes grew wide when he got to a cool part about Hercules. I felt such love for that little boy! I mean, I always do, but there was something so powerfully innocent in those moments. I didn't think he knew I was watching him, but then he suddenly looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back.
And as I sit here typing this, I imagine that God is sitting there watching me. Here. Now. Catching the nuances of my face as I talk myself through this post. Watching my eyebrows move up and down. Noticing how I tend to bite my lower lip when I'm trying to get just the right words to work. And I'm thinking He is looking upon me with the same exact love and tenderness I looked upon Eli. And that's comforting. Because I know with 8000% certainty I would die for my kids. That little boy reading on the couch? I'd die for him. In an instant. No question. And if I look upon my son that way, how much more does God look upon me? He already paid that price, in fact. And I stand amazed that He did that for me, a sinner. A lost one. One who sprinted out the proverbial church door as soon as I was old enough to do so. A sinner who wanted nothing to do with church or religion. A distrusting, lazy sinner who cared for nothing but himself. Lost. But now found.
God is here now. And all the lies I have been told by the world...all the promises of contentment in things and happiness in a worldly lifestyle; all the talking heads who beg me to think this and feel; all the fast-paced guilt-ridden tauntings of "you're not good enough if you're not doing.....", "you're not important enough if you don't have....", "you're not living if you don't believe...."...blahblahblah.....the prodigal son came home.
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