Hint, Hint, Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink

I use to say those words to the kids in my classroom whenever I wanted to lead them to a certain answer or a certain line of thinking.  It was a way to get them to move in a direction that I knew would lead to some understanding or enlightenment, if you will.  Not that what I did in a classroom paralleled the work of Socrates or Plato or Shakespeare, but as teachers we try to impart some wisdom and some practical life lessons in between and underneath the curriculum (and the testing). But it was often very difficult for kids to "get there".  They wanted to take the easy way, the quick way, the painfree way.  THEIR way.  In fact, more times than not, my words of wisdom seemed to fall pointlessly by the wayside. 

I have found that God has borrowed my thinking...my methodology, if you will, in getting me to see how I should be living my life.  He's tweaked my "hints, and nudges, and winks" so that He can better direct me to that right, narrow path.    

He has claimed this "Hint, Hint..." thing as His own!  

God is sly.  He is one slick customer, and I am A-O-K with that!  I think the deity is ingenious!  But, I know that like the kids in my classroom, I can be a very stubborn, very deaf, very obtuse person when it comes to taking God's hints.   Thank the Lord, oh my Lord, that He is patient, kind, and above all understanding!  Let me tell you what happened to me about two weeks ago and how God "set me straight."   You may or may not agree with me on this one, and wither way I'm fine with, but I would like some honest dialogue, please...

So, a couple weeks ago I was faced with a very, very precarious situation.  A decision, if you will, but not a decision in the truest sense of the word.  I wasn't given the standard two choices; but, in my mind I created options that shouldn't have been there in the first place.  Without going into detail, because that's getting just a bit too personal, suffice it to say, I put myself in a situation that offered two distinct paths.  A right one.  And a wrong one.  A tough one.  And an easy one.  A God one.  And a me one.

I can be a very selfish, very self-centered person.  I like the things that benefit me--especially the ones that benefit me immediately.  I'm a think-last kinda guy.  Action: good.  Thought: bad.  It's taken me decades to first realize this and second, understand it and accept it. And because of that, I've painted myself into a lot of bad, hard-to-get-out-of corners.  Corners with sharp edges that haven't just negatively impacted me, but have taken there toll on the people in my life I love the most.

This situation I was in (self-made, by the way), had two possible choices:

Act or think.

My previous self was crying out to act.  Was screaming at the top of its lungs to charge forward with both hands on my impulses and just "go for it".  Test the water then dive in.  Run recklessly into a situation that I knew, knew, knew was wrong. 

My new self was begging for me to stop and think.  To find peace and comfort in prayer.  To wait.  To pray.  To ask God for help.  It grabbed both my hands, tore them free from my impulsivity, and placed them folded in front of me in supplication.

But it wasn't easy.  In fact, it was going to be near-impossible until God stepped in and indeed, hint, hinted...nudge, nudged...wink, winked.   Here's what the sly old dog did...

At my near breaking point; that place when I was so very close to caving into this terrible terrible temptation, the transmission went out on my car.  Now, He didn't leave me stranded.  in fact, the wily old veteran of awesomeness left me stranded at.....church. 

So now i'm obviously distracted.  I have a $2000.00 car bill.  That temptation?  Fairly far from my mind.

But it wasn't to be defeated so easily.  In fact, a large part of me got really, extremely upset with God.  "Huh!  I pray for You to lead me away from this temptation and You nearly blow up my car?!?!?  What kind of help is that?!?"

So that selfish, self-centered part of me said, "OK, God...you wanna play by those rules?  I'll show you!" And I put myself back into the old temptation playing field.  I wanted to show God who was really in charge! 

And you know what His response was?  "Hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink"...here's a sinus infection. 

I haven't had a sinus infection in like 8 years!  But lo and behold, here one was!  Coughing.  Green snot.  Sore throat.  Exhaustion.  Nothing life threatening.  Just enough to distract me. 

Some will caution me and say God didn't cause the transmission in my car to go out.  God didn't give me a sinus infection.  Are you sure?  How does any of us really know what God does and doesn't do?  He does all things in love.  He directs.  He disciplines.  He protects.  I believe whole-heartedly that God was giving me hints.  He was pushing me away from myself. 

And it worked.  It did.  As the days went by, that temptation became less like a temptation and more like an opportunity to prove to God that with His help and with His guidance, I can defeat sin one sin at a time.  In days, I was thanking God rather than cursing Him or testing His patience.  I was listening to Him.  I finally got His hints.  I finally took His advice.  I took the right way.  The tough way.  His way.  And it became very easy to do. 

And can I tell you how good it feels?   Freeing.  Empowering!   Granted, I still don't have my car back and am stuck driving my mother's 1988Cadillac Fleetwood (which my middle school daughter particular likes being seen in....).  But tomorrow is suppose to be the pick up day for my car.  And when I pay that $2K bill for the transmission, believe me, I'm gonna be wondering why on earth ignoring God was so expensive!!!  But then again, it's only money.  It could've been worse.  Would've been worse.  Would've been alot more expensive had I listened to my selfish self.  Easy at first, but so, so difficult later.  More than a broken car and a cold.

With God, we always win in the end.  The money I paid in medicine and tissues and mechanics is nothing compared to broken families, broken hearts, broken trust.  Sin breaks everything it touches.  I wish I would've listened to God a lot earlier in life.  As I reflect back on my life, yes there's regret...but much of it comes from the knowledge that I made choices that made me happy, and me alone.  Decisions that were selfish and self-centered.  Decisions that broke people.  And I regret them not because of lost opportunities or chances, but because I can remember all the ways God gave me hints and nudges and winks and I chose to ignore them, and because of that, many people got hurt because of me.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

 I am living proof that this scripture is 100% Truth.  Enjoy the SOTD by Nine Lashes, who, incidentally, along with Seventh Day Slumber, is coming to our Community Day on Sept. 27 for a free show!