Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Tank Top Faith

If you have had the unfortunate experience of seeing me with a tank top on rather than a regular t-shirt, you've probably noticed the immense amount of body hair radiating from all corners, crevices, and curves from the waist up.  It's not a pretty sight.  "Friends" and family have asked curiously if I was shooting for a Sasquatch-esque appearance.  They've asked in a pseudo-concerned manner if my body was being attacked by flesh-eating ground squirrels.  I've heard it all.  And it's ok.  I'm fine with my BHO--body hair output.  Except the hair coming from my ears.  That's bothersome, but that's a story for another BLOG. 

I bring up body hair and tank tops, because this past Saturday myself and 8 others from Gravel Hill UMC returned from a short-term missions trip in Staten Island.  We were there helping with Hurricane Sandy clean-up.  Yes, that storm that hit the east coast 17 months ago.  Do you know that on Staten Island alone there are still scores of homes to be rebuilt, families without running water or electric, and people without a place to live or food to eat?  It's amazing the devastation that that storm caused; but more amazing is the fact that still after nearly two years there's so much work yet to be done.  One of the ladies that was with us on the trip reminded me that New Orleans is still not close to full-recovery from Katrina!  Terrible.

So why the body hair? Why the tank top?  Well, it dawned on me the other day  as I reflected on my experience on Staten Island that I still have a ways to go in my faith walk.  I was moved by the unselfish giving from the people in my group...their time off work, their money they gave up to pay for the trip and to pay for fuel to and from the island, their talents and gifts which were used over the three day period of the trip to finish off basements, siding, kitchens, bathrooms, etc...I was there shoulder-to-shoulder with these people doing what my limited skills allowed me to do; but what struck me the greatest was, in retrospect, how little I share my faith with people.  Yes I worked, but I'm not sure I shared anything inspirational with anybody.  Some may say that the work itself and the time I gave is enough...proof that I'm a faithful person.  But I'm not sold on that. 

You see, there were many people who I interacted with or who I heard talking who, to me, wore their faith on their sleeves.  Long sleeves.  They are confident in their walk with the Lord.  They know where God wants them to be and what He wants them to do.  They speak courageously about their faith and can quote verses from the Bible that pertain to any and all situations.  They trust God.  And through their words and actions, they live into a joy-filled life that only comes when there is an unspoken trust in God's plan in their lives. 

Me?  I don't wear my faith on my sleeve.  I'm the tank top guy.  Shirts without sleeves.  I don't walk boldly in my faith.  I question almost everything.  I'm happy but not joy-filled.  Content but not totally trusting in God's plan for me...or if He even has one laid out.  Is that bad?  I don't know.  I just don't know. 

I know I'm saved.  I'm saved because I believe in Jesus.  I believe He gave Himself up to redeem my sins.  I know He forgives me.  I know He loves me.  But I constantly get the sense that I have so much more room to grow.  Like I'm on the path, but just starting out.  I have a map but can't quite picture the destination.  Like wearing half a shirt.  A tank top.  The key parts are covered but I'm still missing the sleeves.  And in the summer, that tank top is very comfortable.  I can air out and not feel the sweaty restrictions of sleeves and armpit vents.  Like life, when the weather is good, my  convictions and faith are unquestionable.  But when the weather turns and it gets rainy, cold, or snowy, that tank top really stinks.  Yes my chest and back might be covered, but boy do my arms get exposed to the elements quickly.  And so it is with my faith.  That tank top faith.  It wavers during those dark, cold, rainy times.  It has no teeth.  No protection.  Not a fan of the tank top in the winter.  Not a fan of tank top faith. 

I like to cut my old t-shirts and make them tank tops.  They're comfortable to work out in and to do yard work in.  But I can't wear them all the time.  Don't wear them to work.  Don't wear them to my kids' events.  Try not to wear them on the rare date-nights Erin and I have.  I don't wear them to family gatherings, to church, or to any doctor appointments either.  There's a time and place for them.   But faith?   My faith can't be something that I put on and take off depending on the weather, the circumstance, or my mood.  Faith and comfort don't go hand in hand.  Maybe sometimes, but not often.  In fact, faith is at its best when things are uncomfortable.  That's when it protects.  That's when it warms.  That's when it harbors my heart and mind from the vicious elements in this world.  I need to work on wearing shirts with sleeves.  I need something to pin my faith on.  I need to be more outspoken with how I feel about God and what His plans are in and with my life.  That doesn't mean I'm going to stop wearing tank tops though.  Sorry.  But it does mean that I need to work on adjusting my spiritual wardrobe a bit.  With time, with experience, and simply by surrounding myself with people who love the Lord and can speak freely about the joy He brings them, I trust I can get some pretty neat long-sleeve shirts....

SOTD:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9WXUlERHKc&feature=kp

No comments:

Post a Comment